


She Becomes Herself

by anxicecreamty



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Kinda, Marichat, after puppeteer 2, and chat noir is there too, and she's sad, but she's deciding to be a friend first, but this is my way of fixing it in my head, like i love marinette and i know it's the writers fault not her characters, making her see that her behaviour is kinda, not healthy, that episode was a yikes and half
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 01:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21499906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxicecreamty/pseuds/anxicecreamty
Summary: Marinette considers her behaviour after the incident at the wax museum and decides to better herself.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 3
Kudos: 131





	She Becomes Herself

Despite the words of encouragement from Tiki and Alya, Marinette knew she was done. She had spent too much time on this, far too much energy for it to be anything more than an obsession. Quite frankly, she’s ashamed of herself. Her behaviour has been nothing short of crazy and she won’t let herself continue this way.

This was not Marinette giving up or admitting defeat. No, this was Marinette coming to a realisation. She can have her crush, sure. But it’s not love and it never has been. How can you be in love with someone you hardly know? And Marinette has decided that she doesn’t know Adrien. Despite the many articles she’s read and the copy she has of his schedule, she knows that none of that matters. None of it, because it was information she didn’t get directly from him. She decided that until he tells her who he is himself, little by little, she truly knows nothing about him.

After that day, she threw away all the pictures she scoured from the internet or snuck without his permission. She kept his schedule, but only because she had copies of all her friends schedules. But she decided she wouldn’t obsess over it anymore. She would look at it only to plan gatherings and that was it.

That was it.

And by Kwami she was going to be his friend. She was going to be his friend honestly and without expectations. She was going to do whatever it took to make him feel loved and supported by her as a friend, and only a friend. And she was not going to be sad about it. Okay, she will be sad about it, but not in front of him. No more. She is turning a new leaf. She is becoming a new person. She is being a friend, a damn good friend, even – no – especially when it hurts.

And maybe one day… things will be good and she will be happy and truly in love. Maybe with him, maybe not with him.



Chat Noir showed up on her balcony the day after the disaster at the wax museum. A day after her realisation, and hours after her decision to change herself.

She had taken the day off to think and cry a little. Alya came over for lunch and they talked. Alya tried to cheer her up, maybe convince her she wasn’t crazy when she did what she did. It was too late because now Marinette knew. She knew and she was so embarrassed it was painful. Alya tired, but it didn’t work, so they played games until she had to leave.

Then Chat Noir showed up. Not right away, but Marinette didn’t do anything but mope in bed between her visits. It was a few hours after school ended when he showed up. And Chat Noir brings a new meaning to showing up because he did it both loudly and quietly at the same time. There was a crash and a swear and then a light knock at her window. Marinette knew it was him and that she should probably get up. But she was tired and sad, so she only managed to turn her head and blink at him. All she saw was black and green and something like guilt or confusion.

He knocked again, she blinked again tiredly. She reached an arm up and moved the hatch as a response and an invitation. He let himself in and laid beside her awkwardly. She sensed that he didn’t know what else to do, or what he should say.

She moved her head until it rested on his shoulder. ‘Please stay,’ it said, ‘thank you for being here.’

He sighed. It sounded like it was all the air in his body.

Marinette didn’t count the minutes. She only knew that a span of time passed and she felt enough energy to say a simple, “hi.”

“Hi,” he breathed. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t want to answer that,” she mumbled and turned closer to his shoulder.

“That’s okay,” he sounded panicked and scared and sorry. It was confusing for Marinette. “Can I ask what happened?”

“Kinda just did, bud," she mumbled. She was being a smart ass, she knew, but it cheered her up a fraction.

“Okay, well, do you want to answer it?” She’d never heard him sound so polite and timid. It confused her further.

“I made a fool of myself yesterday and now I’m moping.”

“That’s vague,” he said.

Marinette groaned and hunched in on his shoulder even more. It was sad, really, that there wasn’t enough room there for more than her head. If she were smaller, like a ladybug, she’d fit there with plenty of room to spare.

“Vague is fine,” he determined.

“He pretended to be a statue,” she mumbled. Even remembering made her flush. “Then I danced around him and confessed my undying love in awful poetry like the crazy person I am.”

It took him far too long to reply but Marinette didn’t notice. She was far too busy having a mental kickboxing match with herself.

“What?”

“You know what I did? I tried to kiss him.” She’s not sure if she did or not but she was close, then bam, he was 10 feet away from her. “Oh no, before that even, I plucked a hair from his head and put it in my purse. What was I going to do with that? I thought it was fake, what was I going to do with it? A fake piece of his hair? What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Nonono, Marinette,” Chat Noir said, moving so he could look at her face and place a hand on her shoulder. “Nothing is wrong-“

“You did hear what I just said, right?” She pulled herself up into a sitting position, and Chat Noir followed her. She couldn’t look at him though. Never look at him again, probably. She didn’t see it, but all he could do was blink at her stupidly. “I… I was so obsessed that I… and then I played it off as a joke and I’d be surprised if he could ever look at me again without fearing I’ll do something weird, or stalkerish, or crazy.”

“Marinette.” His hands were on her shoulders again. She kept her eyes on her palms as her nails pinched the skin of her fingers and her teeth sunk into her lower lip. “Look at me.”

She doesn’t want to, but his tone held something that took over her motor functions; before she could decide she was looking into his green again. It reminded her only of her mistakes.

“You’re not crazy,” he said. She squinted at him, and he smiled softly. “I promise you’re not. And that's kind of a problematic way to describe your behaviour- right, that's off-topic. Okay, maybe you did some questionable things in the past...” This was met with more squinting. His lips quirked upwards, “but you’re still a good person. As long as you see the mistakes and work to fix them, you’re doing more than most people. Probably more than this guy you were talking about.”

Marinette’s eyes almost popped out of her sockets. “What?! No way, he’s the kindest person I have ever met, he would never-“ She stopped herself. This is part of the reason she was in this mess in the first place. She has him so far above her that she couldn’t even fathom the idea he might be flawed too. “He might make mistakes,” she tried, “but he would fix them. I think he would.”

Chat Noir regarded her. This time it was his eyes that squinted like he was trying to find a different answer buried deep. He didn’t believe her and might never. Finally, he breathed a long sigh and slumped back. “If you say so.”

“I say so,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

After that nothing much happened. They made small talk about nothing, now that she felt up to it. Who knew arguing with a masked superhero was all it took to energise her? He threw around a few puns and Marinette rolled her eyes but she was smiling too. Then it was dark outside and Marinette’s mother called her for dinner and he left with a salute and a slanted smile. He was gone, but so was some of the empty in her chest.

‘Tomorrow,’ she thought, ‘I’ll be better.’

And she was.


End file.
